I was a useless liar when I was a kid, and even now I'd rather say nothing than tell a lie. Having said that though, if the need arises, I will. By saying 'the need' makes it sound like it's something I have no control over; and that untruths just pop out as and when. The truth is (if you believe me now?) I try to be honest without hurting people's feelings. The example that kept cropping up in the lecture was the 'does my bum look big in this?' question - in a case like that, I would rather be honest with the person and tell them - tactfully, because I hate the thought of them wearing something that makes them look ridiculous. I'd like to think that if I asked for someone's opinion on a clothing item, that they would do me the same courtesy.
The way I usually do it though is to 'rearrange the truth'. Take for example I want to get out of doing something and need an excuse other than just saying I don't want to do it - then I'll take something that happened within the last few days and conveniently shuffle it to the day in question, it sounds feasable, and if I'm asked about it later, I don't have to manufacture details to fill in about it. If I had to take a polygraph, I'd be stuffed. Or would I...........?
Polygraph tests are not as reliable as people like to think - and it makes me wonder how many relationships Jeremy Kyle or Trisha have destroyed by labelling someone as a cheat when they're not. Obsessive or compulsive liars can actually start to believe in their own lies and think of them as true (I should know - I was married to one for nine years!) He wasn't unfaithful, he just told 'tall stories' to make himself look better than he was, like giving himself an ego trip. Would they pass a polygraph test, they wouldn't be nervous like most people.
Anyway, I thought the lecture on Thursday was really interesting - but I'm surprised that nobody mentioned one of the biggest lies of all time. The one where parents tell their kids that a fat man with a white beard and wearing a red suit plops down the chimney every year and leaves them loads of nice things. Is that classed as lying with integrity?
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